5 Tips to have a healthy relationship with others

"Conflicts are inevitable". This phrase reminds us that conflicts are everywhere and it is unavoidable. Actually in society, there's what we call Conflict Theory which was suggested by well known philosopher, economist and sociologist, Karl Marx. The Conflict theory focuses on the view that it is necessary for the social classes to have conflicts in order to experience a well and functioning society. Hence, this thing will bring misunderstanding and misconception with the true meaning of Peace and Unity. Even though in family, which was considered as "Basic unit of society" and based on Webster Dictionary, it was defined as a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation. I believe that the problem within the society today were just a result of the feud which was originally came from every family. We can see dispute within its member starting from the husband and wife up to the point that it can be seen on their children's behavior as well. Some problems like Poverty, Drug addiction and Crimes were usually pointing to the interconnected effect of relationship problems.

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In the Bible, the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18). With this, we can see that relationship was necessary for a man to live with peace and contentment, it shows also that it is a prerequisite to look for a companion to be with. Man was created to have an associate, just like the old proverb said "No man is an island" whether it is a romantic or friendly relationship, everyone of us cannot live without any comrade. Here are some tips to consider to have a healthy relationship with others:





1. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly


Every person has their own ego and it was somehow offending if that pride was triggered through criticism. Let us elaborate "Criticism" as we see what are its types and importance, there are two kinds of criticism-- The Constructive criticism and Destructive criticism.

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Destructive criticism makes someone feels down and discouraged, the motive of DC (Destructive criticism) is to ruin and damage someone or something that has been built. There are many causes for a person to have this kind of mindset like envy, anger or maybe jealousy. Nonetheless, this kind of attitude has to be avoided in order to have a healthy relationship with others. Hence, Constructive Criticism was different from Destructive Criticism. CC (Constructive Criticism) was imposed for the improvement and we can say that its main drive is the "Concern"for someone. This is the main point of criticizing constructively: You correct the behavior or work of someone because you love or you care for that person. There are times that we had to criticize someone but let us be reminded that we have to do it with sensitivity and concern in order to maintain and build a strong relationship with them.




2. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it

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As humans, mistakes are always been done especially when you are unaware of something. This tip will give us a thought that we have to be reminded that we are not perfect and there are times that we will commit mistake to others. One of the reason why a person avoid someone is because he was offended by him/her. How many relationships have ended because no one admitted that they were wrong? One of the hardest word to say especially when you have done something wrong is the word "Sorry", and saying this word becomes harder and harder to express as time goes by. There's an English idiom that says "Strike while the iron is hot" and its meaning was more valuable than understanding it word per word. This idiom will remind us that we have to say sorry and admit that you are wrong rather than live in pride and guilt. We have to be more sensitive on the actions that we are doing and be ready to admit the mistakes we have done in order to keep the good relationship with others.




3. Never yell at someone when you are angry

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There's no one who can control his/her own temper especially when you are in an unanticipated situation. Based on Merriam-Webster Dictionary, anger is a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism. As we experience anger, there are some things and expressions that we do without our full control as we express this what we call displeasure feeling. And this is the danger if anger comes to you, there are some situations that you cannot control like appropriate decision-making or how will you react on current circumstance you are experiencing. Along with this is the unnecessary action and disrespectful manners we usually show to someone like reprehension and yelling. This discourteous approach leads to spoilage of relationships and gap between you and your companion.  Former U.S President Thomas Jefferson once said "When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred", a helpful tip for those who are experiencing constant irritation. If you are angry to someone, take time to cool your temper and don't act based on your emotion only. There are many cases of ruined lives because of reckless actions caused by anger. Maybe now you are angry but as time pass-by you will suddenly notice that your temper will slow. With this, keep always in mind that there are more positive activities to make when someone or something tests your character. Always prioritize to build a peaceful environment and unity within your fellowmen.\


4. Understand that we have different personality

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Everyone is different from one another and no one is exactly the same with others (even identical twins) in terms of physical and behavioural aspect. For example, there is what we call introvert and extrovert character which was conforming to the behavioural action of a man in his daily living. There are some reasons why do you have your own kind of attitude; it may be genetic or maybe affected by the environment you belonged. Nonetheless, the summary point is that every person around you has their own personality that may offend or affect your preferences. Even to the person that is really close to you has his/her own attitude that upsets you or even your family member. With regards to this situation, acceptance was really important in order for us to understand others with their personalities and characters. And once you understand the personality of others, it is easy for you to react accordingly and you may lessen the agony caused by conflict with others.

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5. Try to complement someone as encouragement to them

Encouragement was really a powerful boosts for a person who is experiencing stress and trouble. This reinforcement may be come from the complements given by our love ones and friends. Personally, I find this little thing as empowerment especially when I’m struggling with problems on assignments and researches. There's a lot of stress that some tasks bring so it is hard for me especially when I have to pass some requirements within a short period of time. Encouragement from others serves to me as a drive especially when it came from my family and friends. That is why I encourage you to commend someone or something that is worthy and appreciate them with kind words because you don’t even know that maybe that person is struggling right now. This tip also reminded us to be more sensitive with words we are using with others. Nevertheless, we all have to be more appreciative to the people around us, they may be your family, friends, classmates or special someone. Give people a positive responds or even be the one who initiate a worthwhile conversation.




These are the basics on having a good relationship with others. Again, good relationship with others is a complementary thing that the persons involved must determine. It's a two-way process and cannot be done by one person only. As a summary, 1. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly, 2. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it, 3. Never yell at someone when you are angry, 4. Understand that we have different personality, and lastly, 5. Try to complement someone as encouragement to them.

God bless everyone :)